Goodbye

The memories that I used to hold dear are like a stranger I can barely see right in front of me. Try as I might to focus my eyes it only makes them more of a blur. Something shakes me from behind, trying to suck me back in. No turning around now. I have no want for the dark to swallow me or for the pain. A new journey has only just begun. I will not allow my old inhibitions to keep me from happiness any longer. This is my life I'm living. I'm ready to stay in the sun.

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Mother

Here I am.

Waiting for the opportune moment to slam on these brakes.

 I want to slow time down.

Feel each moment warming the skin on my face, pouring onto the floor like a waterfall.

The energy I feel coming from everything makes me burst with love.

The mountains scream with each raping the excavators perform.

 The trees sing to my soul and smile at me as I stare at them.

My heart longs for natures embrace, the soothing healing touch of mothers fingers.

 "I love you" she tells me, almost as if to reassure my soul.

"Become me, as I have become you."

I know we are all one with our mother.

Lonely mind.

I find that I am not the best at saying the things I want to say. I'm not good at letting people get to know me either. Some days I wish there was someone who I could spill my guts to. My mind is my prison ultimately. The only deep emotions I can come to let out flow onto paper or in this case the keyboard. I scream for a resolution to my caged mind. I dont think anyone wants to hear what I have in there.

one day perhaps...

Blah Blah Blah

Weird.


I feel a change sweeping over my life. Although chaos is so evident and developing I feel more pleased with everything. I think my emotional scars are starting to fade quickly. What he did to me is no longer effecting my conscious mind. I have completely stopped taking bullshit from anyone. The law of attraction is a beautiful thing. I have been working towards mastering the use of it. So far the little things are happening easier and easier. meh, this is becoming more of a rambling than anything else lol.

One day my prince will come.

Oh baby, your energy caresses me so sweetly.  

My heart pumps our love through my veins like an addiction. 

I adore every touch, every hug, every kiss. 

I used to think I understood what love is. 

I feel it in every inch of my body.

I want to be your wife, your everything for the rest of this life and for eternity. 

I can't walk further into this life without you by my side. 

I love everything about you. 

I am ready to feel something real forever.

I am ready to live for you. 

My night in shining armor, my man, my everything.

Wasted Moments Lost in Time

If I peeled back my skin and could show you my insides would you recognize me? 

Would you even second guess your opinion of me? 

There is more to these walls than I like to explain.

 I can no longer be what anyone wants me to be. 

So if you want me, you need to understand that I am not what you want me to be. 

Nor will I ask you to be what you are not.

Can you show me who you are? 

Would you even know how? 

My time is too precious to be wasted, this life is too short to dwell on the impossible. 

Your actions account for everything feeling. 

But what happened to your words.. 

they mean something in my mind.

Stuck on this track.. 

It may be early but can we meet where our souls are showing?

The Quiet Things That No One Ever Knows

As this pain swells up again,
I can't stop the plunge.
This slithering through my veins,
Trying to attack my heart.
Seizing up with tears I cannot help.
I feel so cold,
No one to save me again. 
If only I could save myself,
I dont have the strength.
My heart aches so terribly.
I love to be lonely,
when there is no one to help.
A vicious cycle keeps repeating itself.
Alone, Alone,
Where I put myself from time to time.
I am given no other alternative than this,
As I bury these feelings again..
I will pretend I am okay, once again.